CL Overview | What Is CL? | Uses Of CL | Peace Camp Project
 

There are three basic uses of CL:

1. Conflict management
We need each other to solve the problems we all face. Making someone an enemy who does not share our views is actually self-destructive. Lasting solutions can be found only when they represent the views of all concerned.

CL is listening for those feelings and values (views), which lie beneath the positions. By listening we build relationship. Once that has been established we may move into another phase that might be:

• Asking that person to listen to us and reflect our values once we have done so for them and provided a model
• Begin problem solving

2. Reconciliation
Reconciliation means reestablishing a relationship, which has been broken. It involves forgiveness and transformation. Reconciliation is related to forgiveness in that forgiveness is necessary for reconciliation but reconciliation is not necessary for forgiveness. People can forgive without reconciling.

CL is the first step toward reconciliation when reconciliation is a goal. It is only a first step. However, there are circumstances when listening compassionately to reconcile a relationship is not yet appropriate:

• when the listener is not ready, able or open to listening,
• when there is danger perceived though many times people have used CL as a way to assuage danger. It's the listener's choice and intuition.
• when the listener feels manipulated by the listening or used as a bully whip. Again these situations can be assuaged with CL if the listener wants to stay with it.

3. Healing
Listening to a person is healing for both the person listened to and the listener. When one is present to another person, both parties feel the heart connection, and a field of trust is developed. It is often a healing experience to be heard by another but also to have the opportunity to listen to oneself. The listener becomes a fair and compassionate witness who is free of judgment.